Weekly Whims: Mommy Lockdown! Tweens and their machines! Oiy!

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Alright so this has been quite the transition with our son that just turned 12.  The constant…”but everyone else has one…” and relentless badgering for the next best thing to “fit in” has nearly been enough to drive me to drink (which is saying a lot because I don’t drink).  I completely remember feeling like he does, and like most other parents…want my kids to have more than I did as a child.  However, now coming from a parent’s stand point…I feel like a line has to be drawn somewhere.  Right?  It isn’t that I necessarily am only worried about all the things that having a cell phone and social media can expose him to…it’s more about just trying to keep his life simple and allowing what is truly needed at the appropriate time.  So no, he still doesn’t have a cell phone.  However, for Christmas we did get him an iPod Touch for app gaming and to let the reigns out a bit by allowing him to text with his friends.  My husband and I heavily monitor the device and have set restrictions.  Within days, he quickly became “obsessed” with it.  Screen time went through the roof.  I was mega frustrated always looking at him with his face in that thing, barely responsive to the people in the room with him.  So came what I like to call “Mommy Lockdown”.  I even texted the lockdown message to him so that he could reference the formally written terms regularly.  No “I forgot” whines outta him!  HAHAHA!   Now that the air is clear, of course he is still wishful for many things, as we all are.  He is being more reasonable and accepting of the rules so that he may be allowed the privilege of having anything at all that falls in the category of “wants” rather than “needs”.   I won’t claim victory just yet as I know there are years of hurdles ahead, but for the time being I am feeling a whole lot better about an area that has stressed me out for months.  Woo hoo!  The very best part is when I see him being more present with our family and heading outside to shoot hoops and spend real face time with friends.  🙂  Any tips or advice you may have with tweens is greatly appreciated.  I welcome you to comment below and as always thanks for reading friends!  ~ Lisa

THE MOMMY LOCKDOWN MESSAGE

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9 thoughts on “Weekly Whims: Mommy Lockdown! Tweens and their machines! Oiy!

    this abundant life said:
    March 3, 2015 at 7:41 am

    Ughhh! We are getting the same thing already with our nine year old. Seems like so many parents would rather buy the expensive electronic devices than actually spend time together. Kind of my platform, in case you couldn’t tell. I think we’re in the minority though.

    Liked by 1 person

      Lisa responded:
      March 3, 2015 at 7:48 am

      I know it’s so hard. I remember being allowed to talk on a landline phone (those old fossils lol) with my friends when I was his age so I’ve chalked that up that texting has replaced talking on the phone in his era. We run a pretty tight ship, but try to find a reasonable balance so that it’s still on healthy terms but not so restrictive that he would rebel more. Seems to be working, for the moment anyway. Haha! Thanks for reading! Glad I’m not alone in this.

      Like

    Sarah said:
    March 3, 2015 at 8:32 am

    I struggle with similar things even with my littles (2&5)… On several fronts. The Lego catalog is like a minefield, and every little thing that he points to that is within my means to buy, I want to get for him. But I have to realize that sometimes, especially with toys, less is more. They already have more toys and legos than they know what to do with, so bringing in more would just overwhelm them. And, since being pregnant, and now having #3, finding a screen time balance is super hard. I feel like I am constantly telling them to turn off the TV or iPad, but not having the focus or energy to follow through on making them do it. You are definitely not alone! I do like the very clear limits with your #1’s screen time. WTG, Momma!

    Liked by 1 person

      Lisa responded:
      March 3, 2015 at 8:51 am

      I feel the same way…less is more. We could use a good purge of toys yet again. Holidays just reload us every time. Following through is always the hardest for sure. Hey, we got this! 😉

      Like

    ParentingIsFunny said:
    March 3, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Ugh. I don’t look forward to a 12 year old. My oldest is nearly ten and it freaks me out!

    Liked by 1 person

      Lisa responded:
      March 3, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Oh yeah….at 8 years old he slammed his door for the very last time when we took his door right off the hinges and put it in the garage and made him earn it back…in addition to everything else in his room. Stripped down to having just a bed and clothes. Necessities only, which he would have argued included his favorite comics and books…but he had to earn those back as well. I know it sounds harsh to take away reading but when taking their faves to be earned back is the only way to get through…well it is what it is. Albeit The Bible was always available to him as reading material. “Getchya some Jesus Lil Dude!” Hahaha!

      Like

        ParentingIsFunny said:
        March 3, 2015 at 1:02 pm

        “Getchya some Jesus Lil Dude!”–Haha indeed! I don’t question your methods. Sounds like good discipline. Glad I haven’t had to resort to that, yet!

        Liked by 1 person

        Lisa responded:
        March 3, 2015 at 1:13 pm

        There are just some kids that will gladly “be the boss” if allowed to. When given an inch they’ll take a mile…if we let them…so let’s just say Mama don’t play. Lol! He’s a GREAT kid and we are VERY close, but I just remind him that I’ll be his friend when he’s 30. Haha! Truth.

        Liked by 1 person

        ParentingIsFunny said:
        March 3, 2015 at 7:00 pm

        So true. My sister has a little rascal of a girl, and, during a point of extreme frustration, relayed to me, “If she were an adult, we would not be friends.” Yikes!

        Liked by 1 person

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